Conflict is unavoidable. How you handle conflict makes all the difference in the quality of your relationship.

Relationships tend to have a familiar pattern that shows up during times of conflict. Most often, people are hostile and angry or conflict avoidant when tension arises. This is actually due to their inability to sit in the anxiety that comes when two people want different things. They want relief and either argue to get their way or go along to get along to avoid any further discomfort. Over time, this breaks down the relationship as resentment and anger build and the other person starts to feel like a stranger, or worse-an enemy.

I take a proactive approach to help clients identify where they are getting stuck and help them grow in their ability to be relational with their self and their partner. Too often, people get lost in the details of the argument and are not able to get in touch with bigger picture which is the way people are interacting when differences come up. I help people make that shift so that it doe matter if the fight is about money, parenting, sex, or work; they will learn a structured approach to manage the conflict and move the problem forward.