Helping Couples Stop Reacting and Start Understanding Again.
You don’t need a new partner to have a beautiful love story. Imagine rekindling your relationship so profoundly that it feels like you’ve both come home. Two people, loving each other in ways your past selves only dreamed of…rooted in emotional maturity, honesty, and genuine connection.
I’m Danielle Landa, MA, LMFT, LADC.
I help couples break their Trigger Loop; that repeating pattern where one partner’s old wound gets activated, they move into self-protection, and their reaction unintentionally triggers the other partner’s pain, setting off their own protective response. This conflict is often two nervous systems doing their best to feel safe. Each person brings one of five intelligent protective patterns to the relationship when stressed. These strategies were brilliant solutions in childhood, but in adult relationships, they quietly keep love at arm’s length.
Over time, this looping dynamic erodes connection and convinces couples that they’ve chosen the wrong person, when in truth, they’ve chosen the one most perfectly positioned to push their growth. Together, we’ll identify your unique protective patterns, calm your nervous systems, and uncover the deeper story beneath your reactions. From there, we’ll rebuild emotional safety and trust so you can reconnect and create the relationship you longed for from the start but got lost somewhere along the way.
The Real Problem isn’t what you’re fighting about; it’s that pattern that you get into when you disagree.
Every couple has a familiar rhythm that plays out when tension rises. One of you might get louder, pushing for resolution, while the other pulls away, needing space to breathe. Or maybe you both shut down, walking on eggshells to keep the peace. It’s not that you don’t love each other — it’s that the moment conflict appears, your nervous systems take over, and the pattern runs the show. When you can’t tolerate the anxiety of difference, it’s easy to slip into fight-or-flight. You argue to feel understood or go along to avoid another blowup. Over time, those habits quietly build walls; and the person who used to feel like your safe place can start to feel like a stranger, or worse, the enemy.
Here’s the good news: this pattern isn’t proof that your relationship is broken, it’s a signal that your old survival strategies are leading instead of your wiser, more connected selves. Together, we’ll uncover where you get stuck in that loop and help you learn new ways to regulate, repair, and reconnect. When you know how to stay grounded in moments of difference, it stops mattering what the fight is about: money, parenting, intimacy, or stress, because you’ve learned how to handle it. You’ll begin to trust that conflict doesn’t have to mean disconnection anymore. It can actually be the doorway to deeper understanding and a stronger bond.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
~Carl Jung
You Only Get One Life
Your life is important and your story matters. Let me help you identify where you are getting stuck and help you move forward. I will help you develop the tools you need to create a more fulfilling and satisfying life.